Sunday, February 3, 2013

Love like a...

It's the love month! For a hundred years (exaggerated) I wouldn't have even said the "love month." It's icky, overrated and overall cheesy. But I give in and besides this post isn't about cheesy love songs (eewww). I've been notoriously single until early last year so technically, I am nouveau in the relationship realm. So for people who are or wanting a fresh start in a relationship, here are some of my learnings/advice...



1. When you "love" love like a fan. Fans know the celebrities' favorites, life story, and even whereabouts without even asking the celebrity. How? Research and analysis. Yup, sometimes it's bordering stalking but do it in moderation. I think it's sweet to give your special someone a gift that he/she wouldn't know you knew he/she likes. Trust me they'll appreciate it better than the standard gifts. It's also great to make sure that he/she is safe without being nosy about his/her activities. Fans also run in defense when the celebrity is being attacked specially, if the attack is on their real-life characters. Defend your man/woman especially if you know he/she didn't do anything wrong. Trust is essential in any relationship. You don't listen to hearsay or gossip. The fact that you said you love a person, you've got to trust him/her. However, if the evidences are right in front of your faces, don't play stupid either.

2. When in arguments, don't be a lawyer for your arguments will never end. Be a priest. A priest listens to confessions, forgives the "sinner" and after the penance is served, the "sinner" has a clean slate. Humans have the habit of compiling errors and misses but forget birthdays or anniversaries. After you discuss what happened and forgives the other, then that should be the end of the discussion. It should not resurface after 3 months. If you can't forget what has happened and finds it hard to forgive what your boyfriend/girlfriend has done then trust is broken, get out of the relationship for what is a relationship without trust?

3. Take occasional trips to an alter universe which you and  your boyfriend/girlfriend only know. Sometimes, you have your own language, style, special places. The classic movie Casablanca was famous for Humphrey Bogart's "we will always have Paris." Don't share those special moments with other people. Have something for yourselves alone. However, you can't leave earth that long and you can't live in your alter universe either. Why? Because if things don't work out between you two, you won't have earth to return to. Don't live a life too separate from other people. Have time off from your togetherness. Spend time with friends and meet new people because it would make you grow. You will also bring in new things in the relationship, thus helping you to nurture your relationship more and prevents boredom.

4. Love like a pauper. A pauper has little, if none at all, means. If you act like a pauper then you don't have material things to give hence; you will express your feelings through more efforts which are priceless. As the song says "forget about the price tag." When you've got nothing material to give, you'll give your soul. Love like you have nothing to lose.

5. Love like an infant who doesn't know how to count. Do not calculate what he/she has given you then match it. If you have more then give more. If you have less then it's fine - do not compete with your special someone as to who gives who more. Like an infant, don't be afraid to crawl, stumble for time will come when you'd learn how to walk without tripping. And when you do, you'll enjoy recollecting the hard times and feel better that you are more mature and you've enjoy the journey together.

6. (The best advice) - Don't take your relationship and yourselves seriously. Goof around - TOGETHER.

You might say I'm too idealistic and not jaded since I'm new to the relationship realm. But I've been jaded before. And of course, the best advice I can give you is to not over think. The good thing about me being notoriously single is that I never lived with the mind games and rules of dating. I don't like dating. I like real relationships and so thankful that I am in one. So I wish everyone the same... Lots of love people...

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